Summer’s almost over, I learned that the Big Push never ends, and I got my heart ripped out and stomped on. What a fabulous month and a half it’s been!
You’re probably wondering about the “heart ripped out and stomped on” part, which means I hooked you.
Long story short, I went for a promotion at work, did not get it, and have been enduring sheer hell ever since... and it’s funny what that particular professional setback did to me. For a while I was consumed with a feeling of self-hatred and worthlessness- why was it that I consistently busted my ass and couldn’t catch a break? Was I doing something wrong? Why won’t anyone give me a shot? Day in and day out, I asked myself these questions, and while I could assure myself each and every time that I had done the right things and that my time would come, I was still drowning in my own shame. Co-workers openly wondered why I didn’t get the position, and I just shrugged it off and did my best to stay professional; I still had a job to do, so I was a ranty, frothing, profane mess at home during my off hours.
As I waded through the days, trying to find some sort of reasoning for continuing to show up to a job that I’d hit the glass ceiling at, I remembered something very important. Something almost… prophetic. Something that says volumes towards what my goal is and how badly I want it.
It happened, ironically enough, during the interview for the promotion. I was talking about my approach towards how I would handle things in the position, I had a very distinct thought in the back of my head:
I don’t want to be here. I’d really, really rather be writing now instead of dealing with this.
Looking back on the whole spectacle (and trust me, it’s been quite the mess Professional Griff got himself involved in), that’s the one thing that sticks out to me. Amidst the possibility of getting a new job and moving up in the company, getting more pay and better hours, I knew what I really wanted to do.
I knew what I should be doing.
I knew what I can and ultimately will be doing.
I know what I am doing from here on in.
Sure, I still get angry about the whole ordeal- it opened up a can of worms that ain’t going back in the can, but at the end of it all, I got my purpose back.
PLEASE ALLOW ME TO RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF
Hi, I’m Griff.
While I get paid to do another job during the day, I’m a writer.
What do you do?
STATUS REPORT UPDATE ON UPCOMING PROJECTS STUFF BECAUSE I’VE BEEN WORKING DURING MY QUIET RAGE
Untitled Leroy Stacks Book One – Draft Five! It’s a comedic sci-fi romp! There might be a sex scene or two! Getting thrown at pre-readers when I want my heart ripped out again! You better ketchup the shit out of that shit!
Untitled Leroy Stacks Book Two – Notecards are fun! I got a plot! There’s fighting and the zaniest reality TV show known to man! Battle Royale meets The Jersey Shore! Gotta finish the first one first! Sauce it!
Untitled Leroy Stacks Book Three – This is now officially a saga! Not a trilogy! We are wrapping up a storyline and moving on to new adventures! If this book was a movie, its code name would be “THE NOOB SAIBOT STORY”! No one knows what that means but me! After one and two are done, then comes three! Put some pepper on it!
The Great Zombie Rewrite – I like zombies, yes I do, I like zombies, how ‘bout you? Draft Three! Coming to pre-readers when it’s done- they will then stab me in the heart! Nuke it ‘cuz it’s cold!
The Leeds Company Saga – Young Guns meets Scarface meets Eight Diagram Pole Fighter meets Batman… IF BATMAN WAS A DEMON! What the hell is wrong with my brain? I don’t know but I like it! Ongoing scribbling ‘cuz it ain’t done! It’s an epic! It’s gonna hurt when pre-readers tell me how much I suck! Throw it on the grill and BURN IT!
A Van Helsing Project – The existence of Stephen Sommers’ Van Helsing has pissed me off so much that my brain screamed “WHAT WOULD JOO DO?!” at three o’clock in the morning. I came up with this. It’s got a Van Helsing in it. And a Dracula. And I re-read a lot of my books on Draculas, played a lot of Darkstalkers over the years, watched “The Warriors” a lot as “research”… and it’s not what you think. SPOOKY! INTRIGUING! Ongoing! Cook my brain because it’s fried!
AND THOSE ARE ALL MY PROJECTS
Too many ideas! Too many things to do! I will succeed because there is no other option!
Yeah! *fist pump*
Thanks for reading!