Friday, October 28, 2011


There’s always going to be someone that, for some crazy reason, doesn’t want you to succeed.

The first time it happened to me, unsurprisingly, was because I wanted to write.  No big crime, right?

You’d be surprised…

Saturday, October 15, 2011




Hello, friends!

It’s been all quiet on this particular front, as I’ve been busy doing the usual- working at the day job and lots and lots of typing.  I’ve been trying to get back into what I call “desk fighting shape”, where I am in prime physical condition to sit at my desk and work on stuff for long periods of time without going crazy or wandering off only to stand idly in the kitchen.  This involves honing my focus, eating lots of food before writing sessions, and a charged iPod.  A good selection  of movies always helps, as the worst background noise (i.e. if you lose the remote and the TV is stuck on BET or some crap like that) can derail the muse and make you want to dabble in self-lobotomization or some such. 

You see, Nanowrimo is almost here again, and I plan on winning again.

I’ve been entering the contest since 2005, but last year was the first year that I actually won.  I wrote the first draft of “Leroy Stacks: Book One” (no, it doesn’t have a title yet- I am a fickle bastard), and am not ashamed to admit that I tossed most of that bullshit out because it was, well, shit.  It was horrible. 

The second draft was easier, but still sucked.  I am my own worst critic.

The third draft is when everyone came alive and things finally clicked.  The world I created finally felt real and inhabited, and I’m giddy over what the future will bring with this story and these characters who now, finally, have lives on their own.  Part of what I’ve realized over the past year (and even more so during the past few months) is that, when it comes down to it, I just want to create

Concerning my writing, I’ve realized that I’m not competitive about it- I don’t see it as a race with other writers, it’s just simply something I need to do.  It’s just natural to me- it’s as easy as breathing, and with the modern technology, I feel like I have a way to do what I want with my work and be happy.  I can create my own universe and share it with others.  The sole fact that it’s mine makes me feel more powerful than I could have ever imagined.

Because, no matter what?

It’s still fun to me. 

Am I serious about it?  Fuck yes, I am.  Creating is what I do- that’s all there is to it.  When I don’t create, I turn into more of an evil, surly bastard than I am when the Redskins play football.  At the end of the day, I take my actual job very, very seriously… but, unlike the job that pays me, writing is fun for me, and always has been.  How can doing what you love not be fun?  It’s a gift!  It should be fun!

In other words, I love what I consider my actual job even though it’s not my day job unconditionally.

Like I said, it’s a gift… and it’s awesome each and every day.

But enough with the schmaltz- back to what I was talking about!


Last year I hit the 50,000 mark with about ten days to spare- once I hit it, I just kept going due to the fact that the word count no longer mattered, and the story could just go nuts.   Like I said, the bulk of it was shit, but it was a lot of fun. This year, I think I have a new goal.

Drumroll, please…

I’d like to hit fifty thousand words by November 10th… while I’m working a full time job and trying to be a normal human being.

I know, I know- there’s no way in hell that’ll happen, right?


That, of course, means that I will do EVERYTHING IN MY DAMN POWER to make sure it does.  It also means that I will need to come up with creative, quick dinner choices so I can scarf down some food and keep on typing away.

So, without further ado…


This Particular Meal:  Amityville Primo Pasta


1.  A can of Chef Boyardee- doesn’t matter what kind.  Get your favorite.  Simmer it.  This means “cook it”, but I used a nice word.  Just cook it, will you?  Undercooked Chef Boyardee is NASTEEE.  Chef Boyardee is nasty, but if you undercook it?  NASTEE.  COOK IT!

2.  Chicken.  Any kind.  Just chop it up and cook it however you like.  You don’t want salmonella poisoning, do you?  COOK IT!

3.  Rice.  Make it.  I own a rice cooker, which is the greatest invention since sleep.  It cooks in the neato  machine, you see.  COOK THE RICE TOO, BUT NOT TOO MUCH AS YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SWIMMING THROUGH RICE IN THE KITCHEN IN ORDER TO GET TO THE FRIDGE.


Here’s what you do to “plate” the meal:

Step one:  Combine everything.  Season according to taste, because Chef Boyardee is bland as all hell.  Personally, I like sriracha because it’s awesome and works with everything.  Except dessert.  Don’t fuck up dessert, y’all.

Step two:  Eat.  Refuel yourself, because you have more writing to do.


Naturally, like the title of this blog post says, it is the Era of Clobberin’ Time around here.  I will kick all asses that need to be kicked.  I will succeed, damn it!

This calls for a STATUS UPDATE!


Since Nanowrimo is coming up, all projects have been put on the metaphorical back burner… except for three:

Untitled Leroy Stacks Book 1:  Soon!  Soon, damn you!  This will see the light of day sooner than you think!

The Great Zombie Rewrite:  Expect it first!  Expect it sooner than Leroy Stacks’ first adventure!  I’m completely serious about this!  Once it drops, you will be like “Uh, what?  Griff just surprised the shit out of me!”  BOOM!

Leeds Company:  And this is  the Nanowrimo project for 2011.  A supernatural kung-fu western tale with loads of heroic bloodshed.  Its’ origins date back to… 1998.  IT IS  A STORY YEARS IN THE MAKING AND I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL NOVEMBER FIRST TO GO CRAZY WITH IT.


The following roller derby video is the team introductions for the DC Demoncats vs. the debuting Majority Whips.  This was a fantastic bout that came down to the wire, and saw the Majority Whips win by ONE.  FREAKING.  POINT.  94-93.  It was intense.

The voice doing the intros for the Demoncats (the team in the silver and red), as well as one half of the ensuing announcing… is mine. 

Needless to say, the DC Rollergirls are awesome and I’m proud to be announcing for them during this sixth season of what will be fantastic derby action.



Follow Leroy Stacks on Twitter- he’s @LeroyStacks. 

Also, be excellent to each other.