CREATIVITY, OR: HERE’S THE POST WHERE I ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN MY BRAIN

I consider myself a creative person.  I can’t draw, I can’t sing, I’m nowhere near being athletic, but I like words, so writing’s it for me as far as self-expression goes.

Unfortunately, my brain is… off the rails.

I have no control as to what sets the wheels in motion- random things happen, and I get consumed by the need to create.  It’s like having tunnel vision with a myriad of pictures and scenes flashing, and all I can do is try to flesh each and every one out as best I can.

Here’s where the “problem” begins. 

Each little scene brings with it a whole host of new scenes. 

Repeat to infinity until I start typing like crazy, and have to blast loud music in order to stop the cavalcade of ideas in order to focus on just one.

Here’s an example:

One day, I was sitting down watching the Discovery Channel.  I wanted to watch something mindless, so I decided to settle for “A Haunting”.  The show is one of those deals where families get haunted by a ghost or there’s a possession or something wacky like that.  It usually makes me laugh and the best part?

I don’t have to think a whole lot.  I can just watch and let time pass.

Cool, right?

Nope.

As this family in particular was lamenting the fact that they didn’t know who to go to for help, something in my brain clicked.

“What if they got the wrong guy?”

Not the fact that they might have stumbled onto hiring a serial killer or something like that, but someone who was truly going to help them… and completely be an asshole in the process.

The bullet points represent my thoughts:

• Gotta be a priest.
• Lots of cursing.
• Hey, I should watch The Exorcist again.
• I’m sorry, if I was haunted by a ghost, I wouldn’t go on TV.
• Is there EVER such a thing as a “friendly ghost” when it comes to this shit?  Are there Caspers out there?
• Nachos.
• Brass knuckles for the priest.
• What if the priest just kicked the possessed little kid’s door in and punched him in the face right at the beginning?
• …this dude ain’t really a priest, but he hangs out at the Vatican.
• Vatican’s gotta be a bar, though.
• When’s the last time I read the Bible?
• Lack of knowledge is funny.
• I wonder if I can get motivated to make some nachos.
• Chicken.
• The priest’s gotta pimp slap the whole family.
• Whiskey.  This priest is drunk all the time!
• Tracfones!  He’s gotta use Tracfones!
• I hate origin stories.  Let’s just jump right in.

You kinda get the idea… especially if all of those ideas hit in just a few minutes.  Time slows down and I get in the zone.  I like it.  I feel comfortable there.

And then something else happens, I get inspired, and the madness starts all over again.  It feels like an infinite army of Griffs are working on an infinite number of ideas.  Some people might see it as it being madness, and I can see that.

Here’s a secret, though:  if this is madness, then I’m perfectly happy being crazy.  I like it when I feel like lightning strikes, the stimuli align perfectly, and I set off on a creative tear that ends up involving 14 hour writing benders and Earl Grey Tea.

And even when it doesn’t, even when there are the dark moments where the words don’t look right on the page, it doesn’t matter.

I know that all it takes is one little thing and I’ll be back where I belong.

Creating something.